Posted by keifel on Nov 21, 2008 in
humour Hullo and welcome to TinyPenii Motors, your one stop home for exotic cars, penile enhancement and hair replacement treatment.
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Tags: satire
Posted by keifel on Nov 20, 2008 in
humour from the best selling ghost-writers who brought you The Crack® Diet, Embezzle Your Way to Riches and It Can`t Be Self Help If You Read It In A Book comes one of the best books of the day.
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Technorati Tags:
satire, self-help
Tags: satire, self-help
Posted by keifel on Nov 19, 2008 in
opinions repost from 2004, it will be interesting to come back to this in another 4 years
i was having a conversation on sunday night and one of the questions that came up is `why do people seem to hate america?`
i think the simple answer to that question would be foreign policy. i grew up in a post colonial society and one of the benefits of physical colonialism is the remainders of efforts at civilisation. hence in the caribbean we`re still working with an english school system. the benefit of that is a broad spectrum of almost unbiased learning opportunities.
american colonialism is mental. people aspire to live the american lifestyle and while it`s not a bad thing with perspective and temperance, the portrayals people see outside and even to some extent in the US are unrealistic. the american dream has become more and more intangible with each passing generation but is still the carrot dangled in front of us all to encourage us to continue toiling. deep down we know this, but still keep on, because giving up on the dream is tantamount to failure.
the amercian dream is taking everywhere in magazines, in movies, in television and mostly in the foreign policy. otherwise know as `we know what`s best for you`, it`s been a tool of colonisers for aeons, it`s not new and the US is not the only guilty party. it`s a human condition, been going on forever. the problem is, in most other cases there is a tangible left behind, education system, water works, art, morals, government, something.
the problem with the american system is that there are no tangibles left behind. other than the failed dream and resentment. because america as a colonial power only started coming to fore recently, everything else had pretty much been done already. so it was a matter of rearranging other colonial powers toys in the sandbox.
what better place to start than close to home, the monroe doctrine and the latter roosevelt corollary established a pattern of behaviour that is still rippling through the caribbean region until today.
haiti, cuba, el salvador, panama. all these countries have had direct and deliberate interference in their governance. what happened there as is happening now, is the administration at the time was unhappy with government in power and aided either directly or indirectly the removal of said powers, replaced them with someone favourable with them and then walked away.
it`s ok for a while, but when the dreams and promises don`t materialise and people realise they are being used, they tend to get more than a little resentful. their anger in the immediate tends to be directed at the parties installed primarily but there is still the loathing and hate directed at the US.
yes this is an oversimplification, but all it requires is a little reading and a tiny bit of experience to see where certain foreign policy decisions are always likely to turn around and bite you. this not so much as biting the hand feeds you but some cases trying to get back at the hand that was force feeding you.
Technorati Tags:
colonialism, monroe doctrine, roosevelt corollary, big stick policy, american dream
Tags: american dream, big stick policy, colonialism, monroe doctrine, roosevelt corollary
Posted by keifel on Nov 16, 2008 in
personal in the genetic lottery i don`t think i ever had a chance not to be left-handed, from conception the odds were severely stacked against me.
i come from a long line left-handedness; my mother, my father, my maternal grandfather, my paternal grandmother, you get the idea and i`ve managed to pass it on to my children as well.
growing up with my mother i never realised that i was in the minority. this was prior to the advent of left handed scissors and knives [not necessarily prior but we certainly didn`t have access], but somehow we made out. i`m somewhat ambidextrous now, i can use a pair of scissors in either hand, i`m mostly right-handed in the kitchen but i still haven`t mastered peeling an orange.
i remember my first day of school. i came home sullen, all my mother`s questions were greeted with monosyllabic responses. my mother knew something was wrong from the word go. i had actually wanted to go to school, so my unresponsiveness was clearly indicative of something major, eventually she managed to pry it out of me that i had been spanked for writing with my left hand. i had one of those old fashioned teachers that believed that left-handedness could be beaten out of you.
the next day my mother showed up in school and had one of the quietest discussions with the teacher. never had any more troubles after that.
i had another run in with the education system in high school during my o`level examinations. the entire year has to take math and english, so 160+ students are in the study hall, which contain… drumroll please… those crappy right-handed desks. how the hell were supposed to write what`s supposed be one of our life determining exams hunched sideways over a desk. being the trouble maker that i was, i launched a protest, managed to delay the exam for half hour til we were moved to another room with tables.
one thing i`ve noticed about growing up left handed with my mother is that i learned to write properly. i don`t do that thing with my hand bent into this odd shape, wrist forward, like you`re going to stab yourself in the heart at any moment, nor do i turn whatever i`m writing on almost upside down, i never understood that and i think that`s one of the first things people notice when i start writing with my left hand.
i used to have beautiful handwriting too. but with all the time i spend at the computer i can`t even sign my name in any legible manner, but that is an entry for another day.
Technorati Tags:
left-handed, sinestra, gauche
Tags: gauche, left-handed, sinestra
Posted by keifel on Nov 14, 2008 in
opinions,
sexuality this was something i wrote 5 years ago, it still holds so true.
sex has become a commodity and seems to be daily losing it`s value.
sex is being used to sell everything, slowly we`re becoming more and more inured. what were once alternative lifestyles have become mainstream. i have no issues with this. i live for the day when my gay/bi/whatever friends can walk the streets without fear of repercussions.
what i resent is them becoming a tool for marketing and advertising companies. i resent being branded or compartmentalised.
let`s take the whole `metrosexual` thing, i`m a man confident in my own sexuality, that takes care of my body, am able to cook a meal of more than one course and i have a sense of style and some hack sat down in a room and thought how can i capture this market. aha, let`s brand them, put them in a nice little niche. i don`t think so.
i am me. i don`t need someone to tell me who i am and what`s sexy. and sadly for that very same reason there is very little that is truly sexy or maybe i`m just too cynical.
i enjoy sensuality, particularly for the reason that it plays on all your senses. the feel of fruit in your hands, the taste of a good meal, the smell of the sea. it`s not just about breasts and asses and cocks and cunts.
sensuality begins in the mind.
Technorati Tags:
sensuality, metrosexual
Tags: advertising, marketing, repost, sensuality
Posted by keifel on Nov 4, 2008 in
humour,
personal the wyf and i went to asheville, nc for two days, as part of her birthday celebration i got tickets for her to see one of her musical idols billy bragg, there are pictures here. good times were had by all of course, but that’s the reason for this post.
remember rule #5 of the ICoDP? here let me refresh your memory
“you have marijuana.
you will always have marijuana and related peripherals on your person, otherwise you will have connections with various retailers of said and be on a first names basis and immediate contact with them.”
we’ve been asheville an hour, just had lunch and driving to check into our hotel when we pull up next to a camaro that has seen much better days. my window is down because the weather is lovely and the passenger of the car turns to me and says in that voice “do you know where the trees are, man?” amazing, i just got a drive by hit for weed. even with the explanation that i was from out of town was not enough to deter him from asking a second time, as if i was holding out on him. obviously this man has read the rules and i’m a disappointment and if word gets around i may lose my membership card.
Tags: asheville, billy bragg, international confederacy, marijuana, rules
Posted by keifel on Oct 30, 2008 in
opinions as of this writing there are less than five days left before what many people are touting as the most historic election of our lifetime. i feel strangely apathetic, i’ve documented my feelings about how the system works on more than one occasion. and i think any respect i had for either candidate went out the window with passage of the pork fest that was the bailout.
i’m a the point where i want this fiasco to be over so we can get back to business as usual. all the bitter acrimony and inability to have civilised discourse is for naught because once this election cycle is over, it’s back to business as usual. the rich will continue to get rich and find creative ways to not pay for shit, the poor will continue to be poor and all the while the middle class will continue pay for it and try to make sure they don’t end up poor.
the divisiveness fascinates me. what happens on november 5, when you candidate doesn’t win? are you going to leave the country? are you going to stop talking to your neighbours? co-workers? are you going to arrest or inter all the people that didn’t vote for your candidate? is your mortgage miraculously going to be paid? is your dollar all of a sudden going to go further?
november 5, although it’s really january 21, is going to be a day just like any other and you’re going to go to work and try to make ends meet just like you’re doing today and like you’re going to have to do next day and the next day. this is a system run by the people with money, ‘we the people’ is a pipe dream,
Tags: apathy, elections, politics
Posted by keifel on Oct 14, 2008 in
opinions facebook has me thinking about the nature of friendship.
i’ve met a lot of people in my life and there are quite a few that i’m honoured to call my friends. one of my best friends is my ex-wife and we joke that we almost ruined a perfectly good friendship by getting married. one of my friends has described me as the person that you call to help you bury the body. all of this to say friendship is not something i take lightly.
which is why i approached facebook with a different perspective than most. i joined to keep in contact with my children and as more and more people i knew joined it helped me keep in touch with them. people that occasionally sent multi-kb missives every few months are now more accessible. one of my policies is not to add people i don’t know. according to some people that’s contrary to what facebook is about. i’m late 30-something year old man, i don’t need to be making friends online.
what’s interesting about that stance is how people react. if i get a request and i don’t know who it is, i tend to send an email requesting clarificaiton. there are people that have changed their names, people who i only knew by their nicknames, people i’ve worked with or went to school with and forgot about. in the twenty-something years since i’ve left high shcool i’ve worked in advertising and the media, two fields that afforded me the opportunity to meet a ton of people. i honestly don’t remember everyone, so i am going to ask how we know each other and if you can’t be bothered to answer, i’m not going to accept the request. cussing me out for denying your request simply proves i’m right not accept the request. and on that subject, if i went to school with you and you kicked my ass on a daily basis, i’m not going to be your friend. it’s petty yes, but i think i’m entitled to hold a grudge.
i think facebook is a great way to network and meet new people but not everyone uses it for the same purpose and as part of a social construct, that should be acceptable too.
Tags: facebook, friendship
Posted by keifel on Oct 6, 2008 in
opinions entropy - a doctrine of inevitable social decline and degeneration.
i’m fascinated by entropy and the adage ‘may you live in interesting times’ is not really a curse. in some small way i wanted to see total financial collapse not because i have nothing to lose, but because i believe the system is flawed and an implosion might be the thing to help reset the system. i’m amused by how quickly the shift occurs from free market to capitalism to government supported socialism when personal wealth is on the line.
where we are now is as a direct result of greed. plain and simple. and all the bailout does is reward that. the whole mortgage crisis was a giant pyramid scheme and now as always the suckers are left holding the bag. in this case the suckers are us. with the bailout no one is going to get penalised for their avarice. if you stop and look at it, the middle class is going be the ones left bleeding from the ass yet again - the people who were responisible and took their money and ran have a ton of mechanisms in place to ensure they pay as little tax as possible and the poor don’t have anything to take anyway so that leaves one group to foot the bill.
Tags: bailout, entropy, failure, ponzi, pork
Posted by keifel on Oct 1, 2008 in
humour 
Tags: bothervoting.org, ecards, election 2008, voting
